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Don't discuss details of moles, birthmarks or size of body parts.

the excuse you present to your date for not seeing them again should be the same you give to everyone else. Be charming and never inflict unnecessary suffering.

Be light in tone but clear about your intentions (not all of them, of course).

There's no need to keep the whole thing secret, but never, ever spill the beans about what was said and what was done. Never tell anyone you work with what a disaster/rave it was.

Control those passions There is a strange mental phenomenon that can overpower even the most serious-minded and conscientious employee when they embark on an affair with a colleague, and that is that they suffer a barely controllable urge to get down to having sex at work. Desktops inspire the ultimate fantasy as business accoutrements are knocked to the floor with one fell swoop of a worsted-clad arm (difficult with all the PC equipment, I know - all those leads and plugs and mouse-mats), buns are unpinned, spectacles torn off, plus all that ice-cold laminated chipboard stretching out beneath you with just the odd unseen paperclip or stapler to mar the magic of the moment.

Stationery cupboards: Or any cupboards come to that - and the more cramped the better.

Sex At work: A Survival Guide by Judi James, published by the Industrial Society, is available in bookshops from 3 April, price pounds 8.99, or call 01 The office bromides Modern working environments have, to a certain extent, evolved their own checks and balances to counter workplace passion Sad cladding: The business suit. Downsizing: Which means added workloads which equals "too busy to even think about it". For anyone thinking of indulging, I will add only five words at this point: open-plan offices; security cameras. If you must indulge, though, here are some of the favourite office spots for consummating that torrid affair.

Bad habits: Unattractive office behaviour like knuckle-cracking, foot tapping, slurping coffee too loudly, whistling, loud yawning or noisy eating are all common practices in open-plan offices and can constitute a great turn-off. Desktops: A prime naughty spot on account of the fact that what would normally host hour after hour of sweated slave labour should also be permitted to induce the odd bout of more fun-filled perspiration.

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